Why do most SEO companies have no idea how SEO really works? Because SEO is a largely unregulated field in the US and Canada. Also, most SEO companies are based in India or Eastern Europe, where there are no regulations at all (for the most part). You should not be surprised if you find out that most SEO companies are run by college students, who are just as clueless about SEO as you are.
Anyway, I have taken the time to go through and ask some SEO companies for quotes for some of my websites. Here are some of their replies which will definitely amuse you. I have pasted them word for word without making any edits:
1. Yes, we provide 100% guarantee that you will rank on first page for your keyword in 1 month because we give you lot of links.
It is ironic that there was no mention of a MONEY-BACK guarantee in their claim.
2. Directory submissions and article submissions are the easiest and best techniques for getting number 1 ranking in Yahoo, Google and MSN.
Apparently, they know no other techniques in order to get higher rankings. The techniques they are using will ensure that the website gets filtered or penalized.
3. Yes, some of our links are NoFollow but even they help with SEO in Google!
Golden words. You should write them down.
4. We do not employ any spam in our link building. We only post links on forums and on blogs by commenting.
AKA spamming. How do you put links on forums and comments if you are not spamming. Sure, this can be done in a non-spammy way, but I have NEVER seen this being done without the website owner going crazy because of spam.
5. Google loves links no matter where you get them from. All links are important and increasing link popularity is the best way to go.
Yes, it is for this reason that websites get banned and penalized. Get 100,000 from FFA websites.
6. Yes, blog comments carry a lot of weight in search engines, even if they are NoFollow.
7. What is NoFollow? Please explain.
LOL! This one cracked me up.
8. Yes, we definitely ask for reciprocal links because Google likes this practice a lot. Sometimes, this is all we do because it is effective.
And then you wonder why the website is getting filtered or penalized. Talk about begging the search engines to breathe down your website`s neck.
9. Yes, doing pay per click ads is a really good way to do SEO for your website.
By the gods, he speaks the truth!
10. We provide 10,000 links from article websites for only $74.99 per month!
Yeap, $74.99 per month is the way to go!